I'm a Half Marathon Runner!...What?

Last May I signed up to do something I never imagined I could do.  I signed up for a half marathon that took place last Sunday, September 20.  I work at a running store so I'm always around people who are training for something.  My brother also has ran a number of half marathons and even some marathons.  I never thought it would be something I would do.  It never appealed to me, but after being around so many runners and always having to say I just run short distances, I caved in.
In early May when I signed up, I thought I'd have plenty of time to train.  September felt so far away.  I started strong doing three and four mile training runs, but as the weather got hotter, I got lazier.  I quit running and switched to biking.  This went on for the majority of the summer.  Mid August came and I realized I had to run 13.1 miles in a month!  My good friend began doing short runs with me, but again, no long runs for me.  My longest run was 4.5 miles  That's quite a difference from 13.1.  The week of the race approached and I was in Florida.  Now I was getting in a lot of walking at Disney World, but that is again different from running.  When I got home, I began to fuel my body and hydrate.  Saturday night approached and my nerves were getting to me.  I could hardly sleep, I was up most of the night worrying about how I was going to complete 13.1 miles when I could hardly run 4.5.  All of the what ifs were going through my head.
Finally Sunday morning came and I was up bright and early.  The race didn't start till 7, but I was up at 4:45.  When I got to the starting line, my mind was slightly eased.  I saw people of all different sizes and ages.  Initially I said that I would run with the three hour pacer.  That was going to be my goal to finish in under three hours.
The shot gun start went off and I began slowly running with the pacer.  Before I even got to mile one, I had left the pacer because he was going to slow.  I felt great.  I was breathing well, the air was cool. I had no doubt in my mind that I could do this.  Mile three approached and I was still feeling good, but of course already counting down the miles.  Mile after mile I kept going, kept running one foot in front of the other.  Finally, after some discouragement seeing people on their way back, I reached the half way point. I had a mini celebration and even got teary eyed, it was all downhill from there.  I was half way through my first half marathon.
From this point on I knew if I could make it half way I could keep going.  This was already longer than I'd ran before.  Around mile 10, my legs began to get tired, but I kept talking positively to myself.  I was not going to be a quitter.  I had ran the whole thing at mile 10 and wasn't going to start walking now.  I also knew that if I walked, I wouldn't be able to start running again because of the sheer weight of my legs.  I kept going and if a song came on I liked I pictured myself dancing and waved my arms a little bit.
Finally, around mile 11, the Omaha skyline came into my view.  I had never in my life been more excited to see that skyline.  It meant I was almost back to downtown Omaha, and back to TD Ameritrade Park stadium.  I kept up my stamina and I made it all the way to the stadium.  Coming in I was slightly fooled.  I thought, oh I am done as soon as I enter that stadium...WRONG!  I had to run all the way around the field.  This gave me a whole new appreciation for baseball players.  Those fields are huge.  It was the longest finish ever, but as I came around the turn I sprinted the best I could through the finish arch.  I had done it!  I had ran an entire half marathon in 2 hours and 39 minutes.  Maybe that is slow, but to me it is an accomplishment.  It is better than 90% of people who will never run or finish one.  I was actually proud of myself.  I got my medal around my neck and I had a giant smile on my face.
Now, what did I learn from all of this?  That I am slightly bad ass.  Who else can only train 4.5 miles and then go run 13.1.  I don't know many people who can.  I also learned that a lot of life really if mind over matter.  If you think you can do something, then you will be able to do it.
Running my first half marathon also reminds me of Hebrews 12:1 Let us run with endurance the race set out before us.  This life we live is not a sprint.  It's a marathon.  It's going to take awhile.  Sometimes we need to slow down.  We need to trust that God has us in His hands.  Nothing that he sets before us is going to be too great.  Keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other in this journey called life.

 After finishing

 At the 10 mile mark

Just out for a Sunday jog

Oh How He Loves Us!

Oh how He loves us has been going through my head over and over again.  This past week I was able to spend in Colorado with high school students at a Youth for Christ camp.  The week started off on a Saturday night where I met the girls I would be in a room with.  At first thought, things were going well.  Everyone seemed to be bonding and having a good time. That is until we had our cabin time on Tuesday night.  I had felt that the girls were being some what rude when others were talking and I was honestly ready to wrap it up and move on.  I  didn't see what God was doing in that room.  One of the girls confessed that she believed in God and thought she was going to heaven, but her beliefs were very new age.  She told me that when she died she thought she would go to heaven and God would ask her to confess her sins.  If she confessed she would get into heaven, if she didn't she would go to hell.  I of course had to share what I believed to be the truth that if you believe and confess that Jesus if your Lord and Savior, you will go to heaven.  This trio of girls became very angry with what I told them and the night ended with arguing and exchanging harsh words with one another once we were in bed.  As well as harsh words girls were throwing objects and picking on people.
The next morning only one of my girls showed up on time to breakfast.  The rest of them walked in late after we were already served.  This was the first sign that they were mad at me.   I simply said they need to try to be on time to breakfast.  After we were they wouldn't asked me to pass anything to them.  The food could have been right next to me and they would ask someone across the table.  In this moment I knew I wanted to say something, but I had prayed over the situation the night before and asked the Holy Spirit to be with me.  He was in this moment as I literally bit my tongue.
After breakfast we played a real life game of Angry Birds.  During this game the girls were pretty separated.  The trio, the other two, and me.  I tried to go between the two groups, but again, I knew they were mad as they were avoiding me. Another things that made this obvious was that they avoided me to ask to use the bathroom.  They found the other leader because they couldn't find me.  I was bothered by this time, but let it go.
After Angry Birds 4 of the girls and I were on the swings outside our cabin.  I was on one side, the four of them on the other.  We were facing each other and I was tired of their body language and attitudes.  I brought it up in the nicest way possible.  Things really got heated.  Words were said from both the girls and myself, but as soon as words were being thrown at each other body language changed.  Facial expressions softened.  I honestly don't think these girls realized why I was being to hard on them, but it's because I cared about them.  I don't want to see them making the same mistakes that I made in my younger years.
This is when I took the opportunity to share my story with them.  I knew going into the week I would share personal things with these girls, but I didn't know if I would share one story with them.  The story of my life that has brought me the most pain...the story of a broken relationship that led me to become anorexic.
In 2008 I had been dating a guy and he thought it would be a good idea to begin working out together.  I agreed with this because everyone could get a little bit healthier.  After a little while of working out he began to notice differences in me and he like them.  I took this to hear and worked out harder and longer and slowly began limiting calories.  I lost so much weight that he no longer liked me, cheated on me, and our relationship ended.  I was devastated.  I thought that he loved me, we even talked marriage a couple of times.  Obviously that didn't happen.
Around the same time as this breakup my grandma had a stroke that affected her vision, ability to walk, and speech.  She was no longer the grandma I knew and loved growing up.  She could no longer, drive, walk on her own, sew, or even live on her own.  After going through rehabilitation she came to live with us.  This took another toll on me as we had to take care of her and do a lot for her.   I continued to lose weight, but didn't see myself as sick.  That was until one Sunday morning when I woke up with pain so great that I could hardly stand up to shower.  I insisted that my mom take me to the emergency room.  Little did I know that would be the beginning of a three week hospital stay.
When I got to the hospital I weighed 64 pounds and was officially diagnosed as anorexic.  Sadly, even with all of my bones showing and my face sunk in, I was in denial.  The first thing they did was put a feeding tube in me so force me to gain weight. During the first couple of days in the hospital I prayed to God, take my life or change it now!  Clearly, I am still here so he changed my life.   I knew I didn't want to be in the hospital so I forced myself to eat.  Forcing myself to eat also made me very sick.  Lucky, my body bounced back quickly and I gained weight.  I had to gain 20 pounds to get out of the hospital.  During this whole time at the hospital I never received the proper treatment I needed.  I got out of the hospital and continued to eat and gain way too much weight forcing me to lose weight again.  This time I did it in a healthy way.
During telling this story and of other hurts from my past I was reminded of the greatness of our God. His mercy and His grace.  How much must He love us to give us second, third, fourth, chances.  By medical standards I don't deserve to be here, but God has a greater plan.  As I shared this story I also did so with tears in my eyes.  The hurt is still real and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through.  No one deserves that.
Sharing this story and other from my past during that draw out time on the swings broke down walls and allowed all of our hearts to soften.  For that I am thankful.  It is interesting in the way the Holy Spirit works for the good of those who love him.  After our arguing and sharing our week turned around and we were all able to enjoy being with each other and encouraging each other.  I hope that this past week seeds were planted and these girls would go all in for Jesus and count the cost of being his followers.
Another thing that this week at camp showed me is the love of God and that is why I can't get "Oh how He loves us" out of my head.  It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it was God's will for Jesus to come to earth.  It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it was God's will for Jesus to die for me!  It should have been me on that cross because of my sinful nature, but it wasn't.  The price was payed out of love.  Being a person who has never really felt loved this is one of the hardest things for me to wrap my mind around, but it is one of the best things in the world.  I just wanted to share that with the girls I was with and with everyone else.  This God who loves me, changed my life, and can change yours(theirs) too.  There is no greater love!